All the colours of the rainbow

Working for yourself is a funny thing. Maybe I just need some time to adjust? I am not in the zone, thats for sure. I feel like I have a million things on but they are all just hanging in the balance. They are (supposedly) on tight deadlines but not signed off on yet. Enter Amanda's rising stress levels.... But this is out of my hands yeah? not my beef? WRONG! I don't know if clients understand the time constraints I work under. I try to explain and gently push, but again I think its that little fish/big fish thing. Not really their problem? Unfortunately I don't have a glass studio in my back yard and I have to go to great lengths to try and slot in with other peoples studios. Sometimes I think it would be ace to just get up in the morning, look at my list of what I have to make and get to it!

So now I drift around waiting....always with the waiting. I would love to be able to produce work, BAM, just like that, but the reality is, it goes a little something like this....

Order colour, can take around a week or two to arrive, depending where its coming from.
Book sessions, either here or Adelaide, both have their delicacies to try and orchestrate...
Now see if this plan fits with your assistant/s. Sometimes I wish I could make the work by myself but thats only from an organisational point of view!! I love my assistants I just wish I could be selfish or have the money to employ them full time then I could have them at my backing call...(mwhahahaha...)
Drive to studios with all your tools, colour, boxes, snacks.
Make the work.
Drive back the next day to collect.
Cold work.
Pack and send.

Easy right?

I think having my own grinding wheel will help. I also think the problem is I like to be organised. Maybe I need to let it go a little? If the time constraints don't work, they don't work. My problem is I believe you should say yes to everything! You never know where it may lead. 

So today I am about to set up for my very first trade fair. I think I'm nervous.... It's times like these I wish I was a duo. I gotta go bump in my stuff in a couple of hours and then I have four full days manning a stall. Four. What in the flip have I got myself into? Sometimes the 'fear' grips me. What if no one wants to place an order? Is this a waste of $? What if peeps don't like the work? How do I deal with negative feedback? The 'fear' sometimes grips me while I'm working too. Little thoughts like "You are a hack, you can't make this" try to creep in and it's a constant battle to push them aside. I don't know where they come from. Lets hope they stay away for this trade fair...

So here we go. It's time to put pants on. It's time to get your shit together. Get in the shower. Get out the door. 

Get. It. On.